The other night I was reading in 1 Samuel.  I have read the account of Hannah many times, but this time I read it with new eyes.

Hannah was a scorned (by her husband's other wife)woman and she ended up being blessed by the Lord with a son in her old age.  She had promised the Lord she would give her son back to Him if He blessed her.  She lived up to her promise and when she took baby Samuel to the synagogue she prayed a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord.  What a beautiful picture!  During the years after that time, even in her old age, the Lord blessed her with five more children.

This experience got me to thinking about the situation in which I find myself.  Two years have passed since my divorce and I haven't seen any of my children in over a year.  And in the meanwhile they are not treating me with any kindness or even respect or civility. What have I been doing in the meantime?  Have I been praying prayers of thanksgiving to the Lord and obeying the Word where it says to "pray without ceasing?" NO!  I have been complaining, worrying, stressing and basically making myself miserable!  I realize that my reactions should be more of what Hannah prayed in 1 Samuel and also the prayer of Paul for the church of Colossae.

Who am I?  What is my identity?  My identity is NOT based on what I have done on this earth. Who I am or am not married to. Who my children are. Where I make my dwelling. My identity is in Christ alone.  He alone has put his mark of ownership on me. What I do on this earth should merely be an outpouring of who I am in Him.  Even my reaction to the difficult times should be a reflection on Christ (and I am going through difficult times!). When I am squeezed by the stressors of life, I want to "ooze" Jesus - no matter what others expect of me.

Bringing this back around...

In the situation in which I find myself with the children and their father, I will choose to remember that I was "Petra" before I was born into this world. God has had a plan for my life before the creation of the world.  There is nothing I can do to alter that will for my life.  I can't mess up what GOd has ordained for me.  I am His and He is mine.  I will choose to foicus on that, and that alone!  Whether my children are in my life or not will NOT change my identity or purpose.  God will bless me for His good pleasure and I will thankfully accept all that He brings into my life for it is all for His good!

So, for the next few days I am going to start writing out "Petra's Prayer" and actually pray it.  I will hang it in a prominent place in my home as a reminder of God's faithfulness despite my faithlessness.  God's goodness despite my anger and bitterness.  God's provision instead of my lack.

Will you join me in either helping keep me accountable or by writing your own prayer of thanksgiving?  Please let me know how the Lord is blessing your life despite your failings.  That's what our journey in this world is all about, isn't it?