So, lately I have been thinking about friendships and all of the details of what relationships with friends entails.  It's a really interesting topic if you think about it.  We all have our own definitions of what a friend truly is.  Every time I turn on the TV or put a movie in, I am bombarded by even more examples.  I am in the season of my life right now where I seem to be evaluating everything I thought to be "so."  Friendships. Love. Life. Security. Peace. Contentment. I want to put labels on everything based on what I thought once was.

Yesterday I got reaquainted with one of my favorite movies, "Emma."  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, Emma is a well-bred, lively, friendly, beautiful young woman.  It is a story obout friendships and love - as most Jane Austen books. (I truly believe Ms. Austen had a wonderful take on what friendship and love truly consisted of.)  Today I want to focus on a few of the relationships in this particular story.

Then:
Emma befriends a younger girl and tries to do some good by enstilling some sense of "class" in her.  In the process she tries to groom her for a marriage out of her league. Those who know Emma try to determine whether or not this is a profitable friendship for Emma.  They point out all of the faults and flaws in Harriet, but Emma always comes to her defense. 

In today's world:
There is a co-worker who desperately needs some kind of help, whether it be financial, emotional, or something else.  You approach the person and give assistance.  You hand them a $20 to help pay for gas. Ask them to lunch so they can tell you about their woes.  And when discussing things with another, you refer to them as a friend. But is this really friendship or just a way to serve yourself and make "self" feel important and worthy?  This is the relationship between Emma and Harriet Smith.  It looks innocent enough from the outside, but when others point out the flaws of this "friend" and you cannot see them, you are infatuated by...what? Self-satisfaction?  Pride?  Self-worth?  What does the scripture say about that?  "Love does not seek it's own..." (1 Cor. 13:5)

Then:
Also, there is a friendship between Emma and her now-married governess. Mrs. Weston only sees the good in Emma.  Emma adores Mrs. Weston and seeks her advice, however, biased as Mrs. Weston is, she cannot bring herself to chide Emma for her actions.  She points out some facts about others and carefully words her advice to Emma to sound nothing but loving and encouraging.  In relationship to Harriet, Mrs. Weston subtley points out character flaws in Harriet, but soothes Emma's conscience by offering encouragement in her actions towards Harriet. 

In today's world:
There are people in our lives, possibly a parent, who always find the best in us, and encourage us to follow our flawed instincts, even if it means we might be hurt in the end.  But we can always count on that person to smooth our ruffled egos, can't we?  And the scarey thing is, many of these people have known us for many years, perhaps all our lives.  And what purpose does it serve to sugar-coat the truth?  What does the scripture tell us in this instance?  "Speak the truth in love." (Ephesians 4:15) Is partial truth good enough?  I tend not to think so because there is still room for a little white lie, isn't there?

Then:
Of course we cannot forget the friendship between Emma and the life-long family friend, Mr. Knightley.  Mr. Knightley never held back his praises OR his rebuke from Emma.  His rebukes were stern, but never unkind.  His only motivation for speaking in such a manner was the edification of his dear friend, one whom he had known since infancy.  Emma's response to Mr, Knightley's rebukes?  Indignation of course!  However...Through the course of the story we begin to see Emma maturing and recognizing the affection behind the words her dear friend had spoken.  And because Mr. Knightley, always the caring friend, has the patience to see Emma through some very difficult times, they both reap the benefits of not only the deepest of friendships, but they also see their love and admiration grow for each other. 

In today's world:
There are certainly those in our lives who speak truth into our lives and we get very defensive about our actions.  Or am I the only one? (Hope not.)  We are not sure if they are really "showing themselves friendly" because who in the world would speak in such a manner to us?!?!  This could be someone you just met or someone who has known you forever, but for one reason or another they have your best interests at heart.  Their words are completely self-less, and they know this because telling you the truth in love is more important to them than being liked.  They would rather see you mature than have a superficial relationship with you.

I have been evaluating the people who are in my lives and, in a way, categorizing (labeling) them into one of these three "friendship categories."  I have found many that fit into the first two, but only a cherished few who are in the last one.  And here is what I want to say about that...

I have found my dear "Mr. Knightly" who, despite my many flaws and character deficiencies, cares about me and patiently waits for me to completely appreciate his love.  I want to tell you, Mr. Knightley. "I see your care and concern and I value your friendship above all other friendships.  I am still trying to settle the other false friendships in my life so that I can be freed up to fully appreciate your self-less, caring, and sacrificial love for me.  Thank you for opening up my eyes to what true friendship looks like and waiting for me to appreciate YOU!"