Red shoes....Yummy!!!  Sexy!!! and Oh so hot!!!

OK - that's established.  So what does that have to do with Petra, you might ask.  That's a great question that I would be more than happy to answer this afternoon.

The other day I was pondering the question, "What is the difference in how a man makes me feel and how a man makes me feel about myself?"  That's a deep question isn't it?  And it's one that you might be wondering how I, a sometimes self-absorbed woman, came up with...and yes, I came up with it all on my own!

Well, I am going to tell you a few facts that may surprise a few of you.  And for others of you who already know these facts, just bear with me because I do have a purpose for bringing these things up.

First, I was someone who, on most days, didn't think very highly of herself.  I have a generally low self-esteem.  Yes, I know all of the "factoids" about this condition and I don't like them, but the facts are what they are.  I generally relied on others to boost my self-esteem with their praise.

Secondly, for about ten years I dealt with a husband who didn't find me beautiful. Shocker, right?  What husband would have the audacity to say such a thing?  Uhhh...MINE!!!  Of course he would always qualify it and say that I was beautiful from the neck up. Leaving EVERY ONE, including me, to believe what?

Thirdly, for some odd reason, I equate inner beauty to outer and therefore, in light of No. 2, I must not be beautiful.  And - follow my reasoning here - if I wasn't beautiful, I wasn't good, and therefore, I couldn't "do" good, and since I couldn't do good I really couldn't matter.  Notice I said that "I" couldn't matter, not what I did?

So, after the divorce I started finding men who would make me feel good.  And make me feel good they did!  Temporarily.  They made me laugh.  They flattered me.  They gave me a reason to be thankful for modern technology with use of the cell phone/texting and computers/emails/IM-ing.  But guess what?  The "feel good" stuff started fading out and I would have to go on to the next one to get that "feel good" back.(It was a vicious cycle, yes.)

Forward to June 2012.  A man entered the scene and for some reason was unlike all the others. (Yeah, I'm sure some of you have heard THAT before.) This man was generous with his praise and also made me laugh and have a wonderful time.  But the difference is that now, the joy came from within me, not from without!  He is getting me to see that I am a precious child of the King and I am a Princess in every sense of the word.  I am beautiful whether I wear makeup or not.  Whether I am a size 6 or 16.  Whether I get angry or I am happy.  I, just by being myself, am good because I am being myself. I "do" good just by getting out of bed every morning and living the life GOd has given me. I do matter! I DO MATTER!!! I AM BEAUTIFUL! I am beautiful whether I act like a princess or not.  And for many years I did NOT act very royal!

So...let's go back to the beginning of this post.  I have a new pair of stellar, hot, and totally unneccessary shoes. I bought them yesterday because I feel like the princess I am when I put them on!  I am beautiful and I deserve a pair of beautiful shoes!  I feel good about being Petra!  No, you do not need to bow before me as I walk by, because I am royalty, you know.  But don't ever tell me I am anything less than who I REALLY am or I will have to kick your butt with my awesome new shoes (or at least poke your eye out with that stiletto heel!)

And here is what I want to tell all my girlfriends out there.  You are royalty too, if you are a child of the King.  You are beautiful, inside and out!  You might not be in your stilettos, but you have SOMETHING that makes you feel beautiful.  Find it and flaunt it - JUST BECAUSE!

And to all my male friends who may be reading this.  You are royalty too.  Please act like a Prince Charming to EVERY woman in your life!  Help each woman find her slipper that makes her feel beautiful!  Do it for her.  Do it for the Lord.  Do it for the future princes of the world who are looking for their princesses!

See...If you think about it, we are ALL living a fairy tale of sorts!  We just all have different slippers and our prince looks different.  But in every case there is a happy ending because the princess believes she looks beautiful to her prince!

And for those of you who are shoe fanatics like me, you should have seem the awesome purple ones I almost got as well!  (Let me know if you want to see them cuz I have a great picture!)