Do things come full circle? What does that imply? I think it means that things start where they left off after going in a circle. Someone recently suggested that I had come "full circle." I am not sure I like that analogy and here is why. I don't want to believe I have been going in circles. I would rather see myself as having fallen off the path the Lord has prepared for me over thirty years ago, and I have now arrived.
Allow me to tell you a short story. Thirty-three years ago, I met a young man in my church youth group. I was a wide-eyed, smitten, teenaged girl who was totally in awe. But I was just a plain girl and this young man didn't "see" me. Through the years of attending youth groups, church, choir practices and fellowships, this young man started to fall in love with me. We had our good times and bad times. We dated on and off. We fell in love. We loved each other. But things happened...things that tore us apart. We went our separate ways for twenty-seven years and in those years we grew, matured, and got older.
What else happened in those years? I've loved...despite what others might say. I have loved a few men. I have loved them for certain character traits. I have loved them for what I believed them to be. I have loved them for who they were not and for who they were. I loved them for how they made me feel at the time. I have loved them for taking me away from a situation in which I didn't want to be. I have loved them for teaching me new things about myself, the Lord, and this world which we live in.
"What happened to him?" you might ask. Well, he lived his life, doing the best he could in each situation, learning about himself. But the biggest thing that happened to him was he learned that one mistake can set in motion circumstances that changed the course of history, as he knew it. He never stopped thinking about or loving his first love. He always wondered "what if"?
Neither one of us believe in "happenstance" or "coincidence", so when a customer came in to where I work and we spoke, it set off a chain of events that spiraled as quickly and strongly as a tornado comes and changes entire landscapes.
Now, where do we find ourselves? Have we come "full circle"? Or have we simply both fallen off the path that the Lord had chosen for us from the very beginning? God has His perfect will and then there is His permissive will. What we believe is that we have been, for the last 30 years, living His permissive will, wandering in and out of lonely places. Now, after all this time, we have found His perfect will and we no longer want to live anywhere else but right there - in the place He created for us all along. "What God has joined together, let no man separate."
Beautifully written and somewhat full circle in construct. Very artistic and I commend you.
ReplyDeleteIt recalls to mind in my life fifteen years ago when I felt God had worked something out for me and grandted me a gift. Everyone told me that God had worked wonders. That "gift" of God turned ought to be nothing of the sort. Serial adultry, drug use and an abandoned and abused child was left as the result of this "gift". If I had not believed it was God none of the turmoil none of the terror would have occured.
Flash forward several years and I sat in the living room of another womans trailer. We were dicussing God. The woman teared up and rushed from the room, returned shortly to say "I just received confirmation." This in relation to the relationship.
It is easy to ASSUME "GOD" into our desires. Especially if it's "too good to be true" or has a "Faity tale" ring to it. Just as it was fairy tale years ago for a young woman to fall for me, and me to ignore all the danger signs because I could make it out to be God Working.
There is also the question of what WE have to do to OBTAIN this perfect will? Does one steal money to by the car that one rationalizes as "Gods perfect will" for one to drive? Of course not. Neither would killing someone in order to obtain Gods perfect will. How about lying? Would one turn their own words for six months into lies in order to obtain
"gods perfect will" Since Satan is the Father of lies, how does one embrace the wiles of the enemy in order to obtain "God's perfect will"?
"Gods perfect will" would thus simply be what one puts upon their own carnal desires and imaginations. blaming God for the evil they have to commit in order to make that "perfect will" happen.
I have been the victim of this type of thing more than once. When I talked to a wife, who had commited adultry on me and was running away to yet another lover and told me "If God dosent approve of what I'm doing he's not God"
God often becomes creations of our own desires.
Becareful Petra. Guard your heart. Fantasy has a strong grip on you. Remember that word I taught you "Petrarchan" YOu can't spell Petrarchan without Petra.
I hope this new relationship is all that you hope and the gleam never fades.
With Love, Gerald