There is something about revealing your innermost thoughts and feelings that un-nerves even the toughest skinned individual.  The act of hearing the sound of your own voice as it speaks those hidden details that were safe for so very long in the recesses of your mind.  These thoughts were protected from ever being discovered by those not-so-well-intentioned individuals.

First, the question must be asked, “Why are they hidden to begin with?” And secondly, “What must occur that will soften us to the point of revealing?”

Let’s tackle that first question together, shall we?  I will wager that most of us do not open up because of fear – fear that we will be ridiculed or judged.  But how did our minds arrive at “if A, then B?”  Because it actually happened before!  I am confident that every one of us has had an experience where we shared a hope, a dream, an expectation, or a cherished thought, and the response was anything BUT welcomed!  “That’s the silliest thing I have ever heard.”  “Why would a smart, self-sufficient person like you stoop to think of something as base as that?”  “You don’t have the time to fulfill that goal.  You can’t even find the time to do the basic things a normal person would do.”  “That goal is so unrealistic.”  You get the point, right?  Have you been there?  So, basically, we stop revealing those precious things (to us) for fear of judgments or criticisms.

ASIDE:  Do you want to know the “kicker” to all of that?  What if the Lord is the One that placed that thought/dream/goal in your heart?  Why should we CARE what others think?   But we do, don’t we, because each of us has a need to be accepted by another.

So, we know the “why it happens” and we now need to discover the “how we let our defenses down.”  The answer to that is not so much a matter of knowledge as it is experience.  We know the answer but until we actually live it we cannot fully appreciate it. 

Have you ever been told by someone that you can just “be yourself?”  You want to trust what they say.  So, you let the wall come down just a little and you share a little dream.  Yes, you actually voiced it.  And guess what?  There was no ridicule.  You breathe a sigh of relief.  Shortly thereafter you share a silly thought in passing and you get “the look.” (You know the one where the eyes are rolled and a sneer appears on the lips.)  That wall immediately goes back up again, doesn’t it?  And wherever you THOUGHT the relationship was going has just been squelched.  And the other person wonders why you left.  DUH!!!!!  Don’t tell me you want me to be myself unless you are willing to accept me! (Are you hearing me?)

Here’s the scary part.  You still have to lower that wall with the next person and the next and the next and the next until you find someone who will NEVER give the look.  NEVER question your dreams.  NEVER criticize your goals.  NEVER judge your thoughts.  This is the person who will accept ALL of who you are and not just what he/she understands.  He/she will love you unconditionally.  And isn’t that what love is supposed to look like anyway?

Do you have this person in your life?  If not, please, do not stop making yourself vulnerable.  Yes, you will have hurt.  Yes, you may be rejected.  Yes, you may be criticized.  But please, take it from me and all those who have found this special person:  It is so worth the journey!  To find that special someone who will look at the times you say, “I really want to build a sandcastle right now (and it’s the middle of winter in the north) and he/she will do everything they can do to make this their goal as well.  This is a dream come true!

I am so blessed to be able to share my dreams and goals and never be judged or criticized.  I am so blessed to be able to voice my innermost thoughts and know that they are safe and protected and won’t be used against me.  I am so blessed to have my “your dream is my dream” man!